I don't want kids. Bite me.

At some point I randomly stumbled across a webring of sites made by people who chose not to have children of their own. They call themselves "child-free" instead of "childless", because they don't actually want kids. One of the pages on one of the sites is called "The Shame of Not Wanting Children" (written by Carolyn Ray). Anyway, it's really good, it's this whole statement-response type thing. Basically, I had this weird urge to copy and paste the statements and write my own personal responses to them. Since I have a blog, I figured I might as well post it here :P


    You must have been an unhappy child.
    That's why you don't want to live with children.
    You should see a psychologist and find out what's wrong with you.
It wasn't overly happy, but that ain't the reason. I was about 12 when I remember first thinking that I never want to have kids. Probably in response to someone else saying that they do want kids one day. OK, so I wasn't happy then. But I'm happy now. And I still don't want kids.

    You're only thinking about the bad parts.
    If you were a more positive person, you'd want to live with children.
I'm a negative person? Really? Well, since I'm so negative, the kid will have a pessimistic mother who only looks at the bad side of everything. How much fun is that? I'm actually quite positive though. So there goes that reason.

    Why do you hate children so much?
I love children with a good gravy. Seriously though, I like dogs and cats, and puppies and kittens, but I don't want pets.
 
    It's just what adults do. You grow up, you get married, you have children.
And I'm a very normal adult. Not. I know of too many horrible parents to think having kids "just because it's what adults do" is anywhere near a good enough reason.

    You only have a limited amount of time — later you might regret your decision not to have children,
    and then it will be too late! You're better off having them now while you can.
Adoption FTW. Regret is a waste of time.

    Society would be much better off if more talented people like you had children.
Society would be much better off if more people who LIKED KIDS had children, and less people who DIDN'T like them did.

    You'd be a great parent! Are you just going to let your ability go to waste?
No, I wouldn't be a great parent. I do have some ability in that area, but not enough to justify bringing a kid into the world who has to put up with my shortcomings. I'm better off using my abilities elsewhere.

    People throughout history have chosen to have children, so there must be some value in it.
    Otherwise, they wouldn't do it. Are you saying that these people are all wrong,
    that you know something they don't?
YES! STOOPID PEOPLE! MORONS! I KNOW EVERYTHING! .... C'mon that was a stupid argument to begin with :P  Sure, some people want kids. Good for them. I don't want kids. Good for me. I'd like to have [insert random thing here], but am I trying to convince you that you SHOULD want it as well?

    But it is natural to want to nurture something!
    Look at how you take care of your [whatever]
     — don't you think you're trying to make up for not having children?
"OMG PLZ PLZ GIMME SOMETHING TO NURTURE OMG PLZ PLZ AAAAAHHH!!!!" ... No. It's not like that. The things I nurture are things I chose specifically for some kind of reason. Like, I either enjoy doing it, or it accomplishes something. Why would I want to have more things I have to take care of? Then I wouldn't be able to give everything enough attention.

    If you're worried about having to be the primary caregiver,
    then it doesn't mean you can't have children!
    What you need is a husband who is willing to stay home with them.
Seriously, kids deserve better than a mother who doesn't want to spend time with them.

    Reproduction is a natural human activity, so human happiness requires reproduction.
It does? Then why am I happy now without it?

    All human beings need to give selflessly to someone else;
    children give us the opportunity to exercise selflessness.
If humans have this need to give selflessly, why is there so much greed in the world? Personally, I do actually need to give semi-selflessly to other people. It's only semi-selfless, because I actually get something out of it. It makes me feel good. Putting up with noise, drool, interruptions and things like that doesn't make me feel good. I'm selfish like that. BITE ME!!!!!!  BTW, Mother Teresa didn't have kids. She was pretty generous.

    Having a child is a unique experience. There's no substitute!
Yeah, there's nothing quite like it. Just because it's unique doesn't mean everyone has to try it. And unlike bungee jumping, if you find it isn't for you once you've taken the plunge, you can't just piss your pants and swear to never do it again. You're stuck with the bungical cord. Pun intended.

    That's an awfully selfish attitude, isn't it?
Why? .... Seriously.... why is that selfish? It's my life, I can do or not do what I want, as long as it doesn't infringe on anyone else's rights. And as far as I know, nobody has a right to expect me to have children. So, .... why? Wouldn't it be selfish of someone to expect me to have children because THEY want me to? Isn't that even more selfish?

    Children are a blessing. How can you reject this great gift?
If I gave you a pet monkey as a gift and insisted you keep it, would that be a blessing? What about an elephant? Even if you like monkeys and elephants? A gift is only a blessing if you wanted it anyway.


The original article is here